I think, therefore I exist. Rene Descartes was right about that. But it will seem to give so much burdens in my life if I am too much thinking. I feel like I have to think all the time. Thinking about everything in my life whether it exists or not. Mostly about people. Sometimes they are so nice to me. But I would never know when they show the fang off. And I would never know whether it bites me hard or by seduction. I know nothing except guessing what might happen after.
What am I, is a very simple question, but not many people could answer it properly. And maybe I am just one of them. Still I am looking for myself. People often see me from the other side of glass even when I am not standing next to any glasses. That has to be right, but I never think that it is right. What lied deep in my heart is barely same to what lined on my face. I know that it’s not right. But I feel like it has to be right.
I was raised up in a very different condition and situation. But, I never blamed anyone for what I am now. And off course it is absolutely right. Because nothing I can do to change it. All I can do is just trying to bury of what I am. But every time I throw those heaps to the hole, I see someone repulse the heaps and try to reach me out like a ghost. It is really not an easy job.
My childhood, is in between sorrow and dream. Just I never know how to describe a word happy. But, I wish I could feel it someday. And I am so grateful of not losing those wishes.
Komentar terakhir